


Coffee & Dragons

by Luffles424, SeyeZee



Series: Joelay Life [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 09:08:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2145039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luffles424/pseuds/Luffles424, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeyeZee/pseuds/SeyeZee





	Coffee & Dragons

Joel leaned against the counter in the kitchen, explaining the coffee machine to Cray. “And after you put the coffee in, you put some of this in.” He holds up the containers of cinnamon and nutmeg, dumping a small amount of each in before putting the filter back into the machine. “Then you just push the button.” He picks up Cray’s hand, having him push the button.

Cray nods and smiles. Wondering if this was going to be one of his duties. They having him weed too. But always with clothes. He really didn’t understand their insistence on clothes. He wondered if the tall one wanted him to make coffee for them and gesture towards the machine questioningly.

“You don’t always have to make us coffee. I’m just teaching you so you know how to do it on your own.”

Cray nods again and pushes the tall one out of the kitchen, wanting to make them coffee before going back to watch Doctor Who.

Joel chuckles and goes to sit on the couch with Ray. “I’ll give it to him, he’s a fairly quick learner.”

“That’s because he wants to learn to do everything we do. He wants to do it for us.” Ray says smiling at Joel.

Joel scoffs. “More like you want him to do everything for us and he’s just eager to please.”

Ray shrugs, wrapping an arms around Joel’s shoulder and leaning into him. “So what are we watching anyways?”

“I’ll give you 3 guesses and the first 2 don’t count.” He laughs.

Ray laughs too. “This is Doctor Who again isn’t it?” He asks.

Joel nods. “What can I say? I can’t say no to him when he pouts.”

“You mean you can’t say no to me when I pout.” Ray corrects.

Joel laughs and shakes his head. “No I can say no to you. I just usually choose not too.”

“Then why can’t you say no to him? That doesn’t even make sense.”

Joel grins. “It does make sense. One of you is sweet and innocent. The other is an ass.”

“Hey. You’re marrying me, not him.” Ray says softly.

Joel laughs and kisses Ray’s temple. “I know that. And I wouldn’t be marrying you if I didn’t like how you act, now would I?”

“You mean love. You love how I act.” Ray says teasingly, kissing Joel on the Cheek.

Cray puts more cinnamon into the coffee machine, adding the entire container of nutmeg. It smells really good so it must taste good too! He waits for the machine to finish the coffee an loads both up with sugar and milk, handing the mugs to the tall and short one before sitting down on the floor in front of the couch.

Joel smiles and pats Cray’s head before taking a long drink from his mug. He stares at it curiously for a moment before shrugging the feeling off and drinking the rest, setting the empty cup on the table.

Ray gulps down the coffee quickly, beating Joel to the bottom of the cup and slamming it down on the coffee table smiling widely at Joel.

Joel settles in, watching the TV. After a while the colors began to blur together and he blinks hard a few times, trying to clear his vision. He looks away and the walls and furniture blur into colorful swirls and patterns. He feels laughter bubble up in him and he bites his lip to stifle it.

Ray on the other hand doesn’t bother trying to stop it and just laughs hysterically as the colours take over his vision.

Joel blinks hard a few more times, the colors blurring into one then fading to black as he loses consciousness.

Ray faints onto Joel.

Joel jerks awake, alarm blaring in his ears. He shakes his head and rubs his face hard before looking around. He stops and scans the area again slowly. “What. The. Fuck.”

“Joel, what did you do? Where in the hell are we?” Ray asks confused.

“Why are you assuming I did this? Why would I do this?” Joel gestures around.

“You’re the one into this crap. This isn’t some weird bondage thing is it? You aren’t going to tie me to the rails are you?” Ray asks almost hopeful.

Joel rolls his eyes. “Because I constructed this whole thing just to tie you up?”

“You could have. It’s not my birthday is it?” Ray asks nervously. Hoping it was and something horrible hadn’t just happened.

“Would you really forget your own birthday?” Joel sighs and looks at the center console, experimentally flicking one of the switches. The room jerks and Joel stumbles, grabbing the edge of the console quickly and flipping the switch back to where it had been.

“Good point, then where in the hell are we?” Ray asks cuddling his head into Joels chest. “Holy Shit!” Ray shouts. “Joel, you’ve got two hearts in there” He says poking at Joels ribcage.

Joel steps back, placing both hands on his chest, feeling for the beats. “What the hell.” He turns and goes to the door, pulling it open quickly. “Uh…. You might want to come look at this.”

Ray walks over to the door. “Joel, why is there a bunch of stars outside the door?”

“Why do you assume I know what’s going on? I know just as much as you.” Joel holds his chest with a shocked look on his face. “Well that’s a rush.”

“Because you always have an answer for everything Joel.”

Joel shoots him a dirty look. “I do not.”

Ray grins. “Yes you do, and it’s one of the many things I love about you.”

“Yeah, well your guess is about as good as mine as to what’s going on here.”

“Maybe The Doctor regenerated into you and I’m your sassy sexy new sidekick who you fuck.” Ray suggests.

Joel snorts. “Cause our lives were ever that interesting?”

“Well we are pretty special and obviously we have good luck. We do get to play video games for a living.”

“No, you play video games for living. And how is going from our old jobs to being the Doctor good luck? Have you seen what happens to him? Not good.”

“Well we could just do a nice little trip back to see dinosaurs. That would be cool.” Ray retorts.

“All of time and space. And you wanna see dinosaurs?” Joel laughs.

“Hell yeah, YOLO right?”

Joel just shakes his head and closes the door before going over to the console. He stares at it for a long moment. “Oh!” He smacks himself on the forehead. “Oh! That’s so easy. Duh!” He begins to move around the console, flipping switches and pulling levers. Everything lurches to one side and Joel laughs. “Better hang on!”

“Where are we going?”

“To see the dinosaurs!” Joel grins, flipping another switch with a flourish.

“Really?” Ray says excitedly. “How do you know how to fly this thing?”

Joel waves his hand around. “Just do.” He taps his head. “It’s all up here.”

Ray kisses Joels forehead, standing on his tippy toes. “Well aren’t you smart!”

Joel laughs and pulls one last lever, Tardis jolting to a stop. He rushes happily to the doors and pushes them open. “And there we have it! Dinosaurs!” He grins back at Ray.

“Uh, Joel. Small problem…” Ray shakes his head in amusement. “Those aren’t dinosaurs. They’re dragons.”

Joel squints, looking around then shrugs. “Close enough. Besides, dragons! Way better than dinosaurs!”

“Do you think we can get them to let us ride them?”

Joel purses his lips. “Don’t see why we can’t try.”

Ray runs out into the open plain and is immediately clutched into the claws of a dragon and flown away,

Joel opens and closes his mouth a few times. “I should have seen that one coming.” He watches the dragon for a moment following where it’s going before setting off after it.

Ray shouts at the dragon. “Hey, put me down! I just want to ride you! We can be friends.” The dragon raises his eyebrows and keeps flying.

Joel stops and thinks on what he knows about this place. It takes a minute to sift through the information but he snaps his fingers as he comes up with a plan, dashing back to the Tardis. He comes back out whistles loudly, holding up a large golden plate.

The dragon turns his head to look behind himself, seeing a shiny gold ring he flies back and picks up the plate and the creature carrying it. Flying back towards his cave, considering how to explain the situation to the creatures.

Joel flashes a grin at Ray. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Why would you do that? What if it kill you?”

Joel grins and spins the plate in his hands. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Well you wouldn’t be dead…” Ray says sadly.

The dragons arrives at his cave and puts down the creatures at the lip of it. “Would you two like to come in?” He asks.

Joel wraps his arm around Ray. “And you think I’d let you go off and die alone? Not a chance.” He looks up and smiles. “We’d love to.”

“I apologize for grabbing you like that. My brethren and I could use some assistance with a sensitive matter.” The dragon says passing them some oranges.

Joel takes the orange and hands the dragon the plate. “It’s not a problem. What can we help with?”

“Someone or something has taken all of our gold. We need to retrieve it, but we have flown all over the surface trying to find it. It must be in a cave somewhere but we are too big for most of them.

Joel grins and tugs Ray close. “Then looks like we’re just perfect for the job! Where can we go in at?”

“This is one of the entrances. My home is to the left, but it narrows to the right.”

Joel nods and looks to Ray. “Ready for an adventure?”

Ray nods. “Always.”

Joel grins and sets of to the right, pulling out his sonic to use for light.

“Where the hell did that come from?”

Joel shrugs. “It was just in my pocket.”

An hour into the cave, Ray turns to Joel. “So can we take a break?” Ray says wiggling his eyebrows and smiling at Joel.

“Really? Sex in a dirty cave?”

“We can do it on our clothes. But basically yes.”

“What happened to the adventure? Sex isn’t really an adventure you know.”

“We can continue, I just thought we could take a break.”

“We can take a break if you want.” Joel looks around. “Might want to keep it down though. Caves tend to be echoy.”

“So was that a yes or a no to the sex?”

Joel sighs. “How can I say no?”

Ray leans forward and pulls Joel into a kiss. “So do I call you Joel or The Doctor?” He asks momentarily pulling away.

Joel shrugs. “Uh, whichever I guess.”

“But do you have a preference?”

“I don’t know. Haven’t been The Doctor for very long now have I?”

“Okay. Joel it is.”

Joel grins and pulls him back into the kiss.

Ray pushes Joel up against the wall, grinning wickedly.

Joel smirks. “And just what do you have cooked up, huh?”

“Wall sex, that way no one gets dirty. At least not from dirt.”

“Pretty sure cave walls are just as dirty.”

“Oh shut up, no they aren’t.”

Joel chuckles. “Sure they aren’t.”

Ray nods sternly before undoing Joels pants.

“Someone’s being demanding.” Joel teases.

“Aren’t I always though? Why quit now?”

Joel nods. “True enough. Besides, it’s kinda hot when you get all pushy.”

Ray pulls down his own pants as well as his boxers.

Joel lets out a shaky breath and turns them, pinning Ray to the wall. “Never one for foreplay huh?”

“Nope, when I want you I want you right away.”

“Well who am I to deny you what you want?” Joel grins and turns Ray around. He sucks on his fingers quickly before slowly pushing one into Ray.

Ray moans, the sound echoing off the cave walls. “More.”

“Shh.” Joel grins sliding in another finger.

“Joel!” Ray whines.

“Hmm? What is it Ray?”

“Fuck me!”

Joel chuckles and pulls his fingers out and takes a step back. “Well since you asked so nicely. Get me ready.” He looks down expectantly.

Ray smiles and gets down on his knees. “Gladly.” He says before taking Joel into his mouth. Sucking and licking gently.

“Fuck…” Joel sighs. “So eager to please, eh?”

As a response, Ray grazes his teeth across the width of Joel’s cock.

Joel moans softly, putting a hand against the wall for support. “Jesus, Ray.”

Ray stops abruptly and looks up at Joel. “Fuck me.” He says half a grin on his face.

“Gladly.” Joel pulls Ray up and pushes him back up against the wall. He pushed in slowly, forehead resting between Ray’s shoulder blades.

Ray moans in delight, cave sex was good.

“The dragons will hear if you keep up like that.” Joel whispers in his ear, starting to thrust slowly.

“Joel!” Ray whines again. “Faster!”

“I dunno if I can. Can you be quiet when I do it?”

“Fine! Yes I’ll be quiet just for christ sake, fuck me” Ray says shouting the last two words.

Joel grins going a little faster. “You’re not doing so well on being quiet.”

Ray nods.

Joel kisses Ray’s neck and speeds up. “That’s better.”

Ray comes, stifling a moan.

Joel’s hands tighten on Ray’s hips, thrusting a little harder. He bites his lip hard when he comes. He leans heavily against Ray.

“Well that was nice.” Ray says breathessly. “Shall we adventure?”

Joel waves his hand. “Just uh… Just give me a second.” He pants.

Ray laughs. “okay sure!”

Joel pulls out finally, fixing his pants and leaning against the wall. “This two hearts thing. It’s ridiculous.”

“Wish you had one again? Or do you think you love me a little more with two?” Ray asks.

“What does me having two hearts have to do with how much I love you?”

“Shut up, I was being cheesy. “ Ray says quickly.

“You missed it a bit.” Joel pushes off the wall and kisses Ray on the forehead. “Right, so ready to go?”

“Absolutely.” Ray says grabbing Joels hand and walking down the tunnel.

Joel laughs. “So what do you think took the gold?”

“Goblins? Alien things? Tiny mice? I don’t know.”

“Tiny mice? Taking a whole pile of gold from a bunch of dragons?”

“Shut up. You never know. Maybe it was large pigeons.” Ray says shrugging.

Joel laughs. “Oh it’s pigeons now? I didn’t know pigeon’s liked shiny things.”

“Fine! Parrots and weasels stole their treasure. Happy?” Ray storms.

“Crows, Ray. Crows like shiny things.” Joel grins.

“Jesus, whatever.” Ray says grumpily flipping Joel off.

Joel catches his wrist and kisses his finger. “Love you too Ray.”

Ray hides a smile trying to be annoyed at Joel, but failing and smacking his shoulder playfully. They kept on walking, holding hands while they did.

They continue in silence for a while before joel stops them, cocking his head to one side and listening. “Hear that?”

“Clearly you have superior hearing as well, because I hear nothing. What do you hear?” Ray asks.

“Maybe you’re just as deaf as you are blind.” Joel teases. “But it’s muffled. I just hear…. Something.”

“Something? Sounds ominous. Should we run?”

Joel grins. “Let’s go!”

They run quickly down the tunnel, seeing only darkness. Their path lightly illuminated by Joels sonic screwdriver.

Rocks begin to shake loose above them and Joel pulls Ray to a sudden stop. “Um… I’m not sure what’s causing this.” He gestures above them with a worried expression.

The tunnel starts shaking and collapsing around them.

Joel pulls Ray out of the way of some falling rocks and pins him against the wall, shielding the younger man with his body.

Ray pushed Joel off of him. “Geez Joel, I’m not a child!” Ray says before a large rock falls on his head, knocking him out immediately.

Joel clamped a hand over his mouth, horrified. He knelt by Ray, head bowed. He dully felt something impact before his world went black and he slumped forward.

Ray opened his eyes again to Cray standing over him and Joel, shaking the both of them and had a panicked look about him.

Joel blinked his eyes a few times, sitting up quickly and looking around, dazed. He put his hand to his chest. “One heart…” He muttered then looked up at Ray. “One heart.”

“Guess we’re back to normal then aren’t we?” Ray says pressing a hand to Joels chest. “Shame we didn’t find the gold though.”

Joel puts his other hand over Ray’s holding it close. He looks down a little sadly. “That gold would’ve been nice to get.”

Ray wraps a comforting arm around Joel, bringing him close. “I’m sorry Joel.” He says, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek.

Joel leans on him a little. “Do you know what we could’ve done with just a bit of that gold?” He says glumly.

“Bought a maid? A butler? A helicopter?”

Joel glares at him. “No! Invested! Saved it! Sold it! It’s gold! It’s worth so much!”

“Seriously? I mean… Seriously Joel?” Ray asks shaking his head.

Joel nods feverishly. “Yes really. We could’ve been set for life. I could’ve had so much money to play with.”

“You know what else you can play with?” Ray asks seductively.

Joel chuckles and sits back. “We should really be trying to figure out what the hell happened. Then maybe we can talk about some kinks that you haven’t been telling me about.” He grins.

“Kinks as in sex? Because if yes, I have some handcuffs we can play with.” Ray winks.

“Oh do you now?” Joel raises an eyebrow.

“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

Joel shakes his head and stands up. “That conversation is just gonna have to wait. We need to figure out what the hell happened.”

“I don’t know, did we do drugs?”

“Yeah, we did drugs and I forgot to tell you.” Joel rolls his eyes.

“Well sorry, thats my only idea. What do you think it could have been?” Ray asks.

Joel eyes the coffee cups suspiciously before making his way quickly to the kitchen.

“Joel?” Ray says, following him.

Joel looks through the containers sitting out and picks up the empty nutmeg container, holding it out for Ray to see. “I think I may have figured out what happened.”

“What might that be then?”

“Well considering earlier this thing was full. And now its empty.” Joel turns it upsidedown, showing that its empty.

“Nutmeg? Cray poisoned us with nutmeg? That doesn’t even make sense!”

Joel shrugs and sets the container down. “There isn’t really any other explanation. I mean the whole things gone. And it was most likely in our coffee. I don’t see how else we could’ve gotten drugged.” Joel pulls out his phone and begins flicking through things.

“Cray!” Ray yells.

Cray jogs in, looking curiously at the short one. They both seemed angry, but it didn’t seem like it was at each other this time.

Joel set the container on the counter by Cray, pointing to it. “Did you put all of that in the coffee?”

Cray nods, grinning as he does.

Joel rubs his face. “You can’t do stuff like that. If I tell you to put just a little then you just put a little. This time it wasn’t anything too serious. But next time it could be something that kills us.”

Cray starts crying, sad that he hurt the tall and short one.

Joel sighs and pulls Cray against his chest, rubbing small, soothing circles on his back. “It’s fine. It’s fine. Just make sure you listen better next time. Okay?”

Cray nods, tears still in his eyes and wraps his arms around Joel. Ray, joins in on the hug, holding both of them.

Joel holds them both close and laughs. “You two will be the death of me.”


End file.
